Create a change in your behaviour using the NLP technique of modelling.

When might you use this? Anger management, Stress management, Interviews, Relationships and many many other situations…

When you think of your attitude towards life and your responses to situations in life, do you find there are times you think “I wish I was more like xxx when I do/see/hear/experience xxx”, for example you might say “I wish I was more like Ella, when she is in a high pressure meeting, she handles herself really well, whereas me, I sometimes go ‘off like a bottle of pop’ and then regret it later”. Or “I wish I had the patience of Mother Theresa when it comes to handling the kids having an all-out argument!”.

Well good news, any behaviour that you want can be copied and modelled (If you want it enough that is!). I’m not suggesting for one moment that you copy the ‘whole’ of another person, cloning the life of another, in my opinion is not a healthy option for anyone! However, if you find there are elements of your behaviour you would like to change, then there are easier ways than you think.

When we choose to change something, particularly our behaviour, we can often fall into the trap of “I don’t want to react like this when this happens” - this is phrased in the negative (I DON’T WANT), think of a role model you admire who handles ‘this’ situation well, what is it they do? How do they do it? What’s their tone of voice? What body language do they give out? What do you think is going on in their mind? Now you have a positive phrase “When this happens, I’m going to respond like this….”, the mind works so much better with positives.

It’s important at this stage to point out that a behavioural change is incremental, it’s a case of practice, practice and more practice. We would be foolish to think that our old behaviour will disappear just like that, so accept any fallbacks as learning points - to quote Garth Brooks “Failure isn’t failure if a lesson from it’s learnt”, so dust yourself down and get back on your mission and soon the old behaviour becomes uncomfortable and new behaviour more comfortable, until it’s your natural way.

Wishing you a very happy life,

Zx

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